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Writer's pictureThe Joyous Parent
Jan 13, 20216 min read

A message for 2020: For her, I am ENOUGH! A message for 2021: I INTEND

Right around a new year, there is always a lot of talk about new promises, big change, and yes, resolutions. Everyone knows the feeling of excitement when setting a new goal with all of the promise that it brings...that maybe a week, if you're lucky a month, later falls away and brings us back to where we once were.


Well, in 2021, after this packed and tumultuous year where so many have suffered and found themselves unearthed and unbalanced in our parenthood and beyond, I recognize just how desperately we all want it to WORK this time around!



And right now, I want to write to you all, dears, that we get to begin this shift at home first. We get to do it in two crucial steps:


  1. We can complete 2020 and in that closure, regain our "enoughness"

  2. We can welcome in 2021 with clear and soulful intentions

Complete 2020 & Welcome in 2021


Seeking and gaining closure is a practice. An important one that many of us overlook. So, first and foremost, we get to say good bye to what was! I invite you right now, to go and get a beautiful notebook and a pen and complete this activity with me:


Complete 2020 with these 3 steps:


STEP ONE: celebrate your accomplishments! Take a few moments right now to write down all of the things you have done for yourself, your family, for others in 2020. Write each down and as you do, whisper a silent "thank you" or "bravo" to yourself. These things can be big or small.


Some of mine:

  • I did yoga almost every morning (and forgave myself when I did not)

  • We hiked almost every Sunday

  • I discovered a new, most delicious way to prepare sunny-side-up

  • I shifted to the natural method of birth control

  • I learned about some medicinal herbs

  • I finally set up my home office! (still work in progress)

NAME AT LEAST 10 OF YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS!


STEP TWO: accept what you did not complete. We do not have to be nor should we try to be perfect. So it is perfectly reasonable to have a long list of things we wish we had done but didn't get to, or things we have always wanted to do that are still unresolved. But here's the thing: there is a difference between resentment around those things and gaining CLOSURE. So right now, take a moment to accept and move on. And know that in our welcoming of 2021, we have an opportunity to shift into a closer alignment with our Knowing. But for now, do this worthy work first, and lovingly say thank you and goodbye to what has not come to be.


I say thank you and goodbye and rest my mind about the following unfulfilled hopes from 2020:


  • I did not yet buy a house...and that's OK!

  • I did not yet perform my music...and that's OK!

  • I did not get to see my family...and that's OK!

  • I did not get to visit NY since my move...and that's OK!

  • I did not yet sell my online course...and that's OK!

SAY GOODBYE TO AND COMPLETE WHAT HAS NOT BEEN FULFILLED!


STEP THREE: Set intentions for what you hope for in 2021. It is very important to set a distinction between goals, resolutions and intentions. Goals and resolutions are things we want to actively change, make true, and resolve to make so. But usually, we set such lofty goals like giving up on sugar or never yelling again that we fall flat quite quickly.


Intentions are different. They are an internal process. They are soulful work within ourselves that once set, can then spill out into our everyday, our actions, and yes, our goals. But they begin with us. And they are not set in stone. Instead, we can set an intention for any experience or part of our lived experience that we wish. I recently heard the idea that if we are able to set our intensions as part of our present experience, we are then creating the memories we will have. We are also setting the stage for beautiful and transformative things to occur.


So dears, with this last step, I invite you NOT to list goals or lofty resolutions for 2021. Instead, I invite you to collect a list of times and types of experiences within which you might choose to set an intention. Here are a few examples of what I mean:


  • I can choose, each time I wake up, to lovingly look my partner in the eye and say good morning

  • I can set the intention of a daily morning gratitude practice

  • I can set the intention while I drive to picking up my daughter from school, that the next hour with her will be full in, hers and ours, uninterrupted, and full of love

  • I can intend to love the soul of my business and tap into its quite whispers of Knowing to guide me each day

  • I can set the intention, each day I sit down at my desk to work (as I did before writing this post) to simply allow what is to come to be. No pushing. No impatience. No desperation or anxiety or frenzy. I choose to be in the love and accomplish 3 manageable tasks each day. Anything more is icing on the cake!

  • I can choose to focus on WHAT I want instead of HOW I will attain it. I can intend to relinquish control of the HOW each and every new day.

  • I can choose to shift my thoughts through the "miracle minute" approach that I have learned.

And so on and so forth...


SO, DEARS, MAKE A LIST OF POSSIBLE INTENTIONS.


1. List WHEN you might make use of them: maybe each new morning? maybe right before dinner? maybe every time you decide to exercise?

2. List HOW you might want to feel in your day to day flow: more patient? more loving to yourself? more open to other ideas?

3. List WHAT you are seeking: do you intend to lead a healthier more active lifestyle? a calmer more mindful parenthood? a more erotic and connected partnership?


AND THEN SET AN INTENTION TO SET AN INTENTION AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE!!



Check it out, and as always, feel free to share with friends!


Here is to a freer, fresher 2021 and a parenthood that soars with the light and love that you and your family deserve!!


Warmly,

Sivanne


🌈 🌟 And, today I leave you with a love note to my little one, for whom I know I am enough.I encourage you to write your own version!

I am enough when your sleep schedule is off and

I lose my patience when you wake up for the third time at 3am

I am enough when the house is a mess

I am enough when I tell you I have no time or patience or

I cannot (or will not) run to meet your needs right away.


I am enough


I am enough when I fight with your father in front of you.

I am enough when I cry big puffy tears and scream and you see.

I am enough when I have no strength for a “proper” dinner so

I heat up Trader Joe's dim sum (our favorite!) and some peas.

I am enough when we haven't gotten outside...yet again.

I am enough on the mornings it feels too hard to get out of bed.

I am enough when I am distracted by the news of our broken world.


I am enough


I am enough when I yet again work

I am enough when I take advantage of your long independent play (and secretly wish for more)

I am enough when I show you the screen

instead of the connective, artful activity I had planned

I am even enough when I

run out of patience

worry too much

overreact

lose my cool

make you cry


I am enough


And you will remind me this again and again.


Thank you, my Little One, for reminding me. For saying what my inner voice will not tell itself. And loving me for what and who I am. Despite.


For YOU are what makes me enough. You are my driver and my joy.

For you I model enoughness. And then I get to remember...


I get to be enough for ME.



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